On the Plate
by Tazmy
Summary: Ronon and Teyla have bad dreams. Sheppard and Rodney find this hilarious. A very short crack fic.


Thanks to Greywolf Lupous for the quick beta! Uh, this "story" is all her fault.

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Ronon sprinted through Atlantis's corridors determined to drown out the sounds in his head with the beat of his heart. Unfortunately, it wasn't working. Exhausted, sweating, and one step away from crazy, Ronon entered the messhall.

He pounced on the coffee, drinking an entire cup in one gulp. Then taking a refill, he headed to the nearest table. The sound wouldn't stop. It was never going to stop!

Once, he caught himself humming the tune beneath his breath. Images of a large chef knife cutting through his leg raced through his brain. He could almost see the Wraith that bore it. Shivering, he pushed away his coffee.

"Ronon?" Teyla asked cautiously from behind him.

"Hey," he tried to act nonchalant, as though he always had coffee at three in the morning.

Teyla took a seat, sweat glistening on her arm. "I could not sleep either. That movie was…disturbing."

"Tell me about it."

"It is strange though."

"How's that?"

"I cannot seem to stop singing the songs."

"Me either," Ronon admitted somewhat reluctantly. "Earth must be one messed up place."

"I have often thought so myself."

"It's not all bad." Ronon nearly jumped, not expecting Sheppard's voice.

Sheppard and McKay grabbed two nearby chairs. McKay had dark circles under his eyes which made Ronon wonder if this was the first night he had skipped on sleep. He made a mental note to force McKay to his quarters after this, making sure he didn't go straight back to the labs. Sheppard, on the other hand, looked entirely too cheery for three am.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Ronon asked either of them.

"What?" McKay replied. "No. Some of us actually have work to do. Important work that can't always wait until morning."

"Then why're you here?"

"I'm, uh, taking a break." He lifted his chin in typical McKay-defensive mode. Ronon couldn't help but laugh.

"And you, John?" Teyla asked.

"Me? Oh, you know, the usual. Just a little restless. So what were you talking about?"

McKay was already out of his seat and heading for the coffee. Ronon glanced at him warily. Thankfully, he didn't have to answer because Teyla was already opening her mouth in reply.

"The movie did not sit well with us."

Sheppard glanced between them. "Nightmares?" he asked.

"Maybe." Ronon shrugged. He didn't miss the curve of Sheppard's lip or the new glint in his eyes.

"Really?"

"What?" Ronon asked a little stronger, daring Sheppard to say anything.

"Nothing, it's just…not exactly the material of nightmares."

"Wait?" McKay interrupted. "Nightmares? From the movie today?"

"Is this unexpected?" Teyla asked.

"It was _The Little Mermaid_!" McKay threw his hands into the air, sloshing coffee on his shirt, the table, and the floor. "No one has nightmares from _The Little Mermaid_! It's about as…as…okay, it is Disney. I can understand that part, but..."

"What kind of nightmares?" Sheppard interrupted, but his smile had grown.

"Wraith. It had a big knife. Wanted to put me in a stew," Ronon answered.

"I was on a Wraith's plate myself," Teyla said.

Sheppard and McKay's smiles faded somewhat but not entirely. "Okay, I can see that," Sheppard replied.

"I do not understand why you have movies where food that does not otherwise talk, does."

"Well…" Sheppard inched forward, glancing at McKay.

"Don't look at me! I always thought that was weird myself!"

Sheppard gave a slant of the head which Ronon took for agreement.

"Still, we're missing the point!" McKay placed his cup down this time before gesticulating wildly. "You two had nightmares from _The Little Mermaid_! That is…that is just…"

"_You_'ll have nightmares soon if you don't shut up," Ronon warned.

Rondey's mouth opened and stayed that way for a moment or two as he seemed to debate which was worse: not jumping on the opportunity to tease them or getting mauled by Ronon. Ronon gave a mean smile for motivation.

"Okay okay, I'll leave it be," McKay replied. "Just don't say I never did anything for you!"

"Tell you what," John crossed his arms, not bothering to hide his smirk, "let's all go watch _Jaws_. That'll give Ronon something nice and fuzzy to have dreams about."

As there was agreement all around, Ronon jumped from his seat and headed for the door. He tried not to look too eager, but Sheppard was right, _Jaws_ was just what he needed.

He'd just made it to the corridor when he heard the distinct sound of humming. Immediately the words raced through Ronon's mind. _But fish in the bowl are happy, they in for a worser fate. One day when the boss gets hungry…_

"McKay!" Ronon growled.

"Shutting up!"


End file.
